BIGHEAD F4CE V4LUE
When our connections fail and our egos don’t land, we send in Face Value: three exceptionally beautiful people from Surrey, with excellent educations and nothing to do with them.
The Face Value effect
6
You, before
10
You, in their company
Effects last for the duration of the meeting, and wear off on receipt of the invoice.
When we deploy them
The favour is declined. The person Perry thought owed him has, it turns out, been owed by Perry since 2009.
The client is not a member. Worse, the client has never wanted to be a member.
The client asks a follow-up question. Malcom takes this personally.
Evan holds the door. Kitty laughs at something the client said in 2019. Jimmy adjusts his glasses thoughtfully. The client signs.
The team
10/10Head of Looking the Part
Grew up in Cobham, Surrey
Cost his parents a small fortune in school fees, all of it visible in the jawline. First-team rugby, picked for the team photo rather than the team. Has never known a day’s work and has never not been invited back. Clients cannot remember a thing he said, only that they agreed with it.
10/10Director of Vibes
Grew up in Virginia Water, Surrey
Born Kate. Rebranded Kitty by colleagues, for impact. The lips are inflated, the ego more so, and the impact remains a rounding error. Here for the lols, and the lunch.
10/10Creative Lead (Frames Only)
Grew up in Esher, Surrey
Wears thick-rimmed glasses to look more creative and more intelligent. Neither has worked. The lenses are clear. Says “I love the tension here” about every mood board, and every lunch menu.
What to expect
Engagement options
The Glance
£4,000
One face, one meeting. They walk in, they smile, they leave before the agenda. Most clients find this is enough.
The Full Profile
£11,000
All three faces for a day. Includes lunch, which they will not eat, and a group photograph, which they will approve.
The Retainer
On request
Face Value on call for a year. Subject to the ski season, the polo season and the other season.
Face Value are fictional. Any resemblance to anyone from Surrey is unfortunate and entirely their fault.
Enquiry logged
We will not be in touch. If we are, it will be Marty, it will be at 7.40am, and he will call it a quick one.
Contact us
We do not respond to portals, procurement platforms, or anything sent before ten. Approach us the way Perry prefers to be approached: at lunch, by someone who owes him.