Every year Bighead holds an away day to align, reconnect and reflect. Every year I write the incident report. This year’s is published in full, in the interests of transparency and because Legal said it was “already everywhere”.
Summary
A one-day offsite at a country house hotel with a hedge maze. Objective: agree the agency’s five-year vision. Outcome: the five-year vision remains the same as last year’s, which Malcom describes as consistency.
Timeline
- 08:30 The coach leaves the office. Barry is not on it, as planned. Barry was not told it was planned.
- 09:15 Perry announces he will cycle there instead, “to clear his head”. The venue is ninety miles away.
- 10:00 Malcom opens a blue-sky session titled “Everything, Reimagined”. It is scheduled for one hour.
- 12:30 DJ Dan presents a new idea for the agency. It is the old idea, epic as ever.
- 13:00 Lunch is cancelled because the blue-sky session is still going.
- 16:00 The blue-sky session ends. Malcom declares it a success and goes into the hedge maze to reflect. He is not seen again until 18:40.
- 17:45 Someone reverses the minibus into a hedge. Nobody will say who. The hedge is part of the maze. Malcom later describes this as “helpful”.
- 19:30 Perry arrives, in Lycra, during dessert, and gives a short speech about the importance of turning up on time.
- 20:15 Dilla raises a point from 2014. The room goes quiet. The point stands.
Root cause
Following a thorough review, the root cause has been identified as “the point from 2014”. All other incidents are considered downstream of it.
Contributing factors
- No agenda, by design, so that nothing could overrun. Everything overran.
- A venue chosen by Perry for its proximity to a good cycling route rather than to us.
- An open bar from 17:00, introduced to “help people relax”. People relaxed.
Actions
- Next year’s away day will be held in the office, in meeting room B.
- Barry will be invited, in writing, to an event that does not exist, so he feels included.
- The minibus will be returned. The hedge will be apologised to.
I issued two statements on the night and a third the following morning, clarifying the first two. I consider the incident closed. Dilla does not.
